CHEATING & GENDER

Let’s start off with, we are all human. We are not perfect. We aim and strive for perfection. And while we try to find this versions of ourselves we are humbly reminded, we are human. We will make mistakes, we will grow, learn and eventually realize we were always the perfect version of ourselves regardless. I bring this point to start off a hot neverending topic: cheating. Men cheat. Women cheat. Reasons vary. However when we are cheating or being cheated on, we forget that we are human, and the act of cheating speaks volumes about our internal state as well as what our relationships mean to us.

 

Cheating is such a trigger for our generation. Many argue our grandparents and parents dealt with infidelity and accepted it as a growing pain. While the rebuttal is those same people expressed how unhappy they were. We constantly hear of how social media enhanced temptation making it harder to remain faithful. Also the mantra, men will be men.

 

In our society, men are the only ones who are allowed to cheat, they should be forgiven and accepted flaws and all. Women cheat too, maybe just as much as men.. women are just neater with their deception. Men tend to be sloppy.

 

Cheating is deception. There’s no way around it. It’s also a selfish act once in a committed monogamous relationship. Cheating is going behind your partners back, actively breaking the trust (even when your partner doesn’t know, they feel the shift) and gambling what you have worked for, for a personal satisfaction.

 

No one is forcing monogamy down anyone’s throat and for some reason, people ignore the constant change life brings through every stage of our lives. Ignoring it to the point that once in a monogamous relationship, they forget they are committed to being open and honest with their partner when anything threatening what they are working towards is in the horizon.

 

Human nature to be tempted, that’s more than obvious. We are human and will be enticed by people and situations that appeal to our desires, even if it means taking for granted what we have.

 

Once is a mistake, twice it’s a choice.

 

We must be held accountable. Whether a mistake or a choice how we move forward determines a lot of ourselves and how much do we value the relationship at stake. The deception is the real issue, not so much the act. The act of cheating may vary, yet deception is the root of it all. You went and did something you knew your partner wouldn’t agree with and are now harboring this experience from them.

 

All mistakes reveal something, especially when we repeat them. Cheating is telling you something, now you must convey what you gathered and now feel to your partner.

Is monogamy satisfying you? Or are you unhappy with who you are with? You owe it to the commitment you made with your lover to be very honest about what it is you want, so cheating isn’t a factor.

 

You’d be surprised at who’s into polyamorous relationships, if you asked.

 

Communication is important through every phase of our relationships. Can cheating be avoided? Yes. Will it happen? Possibly. How serious about your commitment are you that if cheating posed a threat you would speak on it? This matters.

 

Men and women handle cheating and being cheated on differently. Men are more unforgiving when it comes to being cheated on, yet expect forgiveness due to a biased sense of sexual masculinity, while women are more forgiving yet they are much more crafty when it comes to cheating, most never getting caught and I believe it’s to spare the male ego. Every situation is different yet deception is what it is. Factor in the variables of history and maturity from both genders and each outcome will be interesting to say the least. Women are labeled more emotional and men more logical, yet men are the ones getting caught up while women can take most of their affairs to the grave. Doesn’t make it right, just an observation I noticed.

 

Can both genders move forward after a deceptive experience? Possibly. Again it comes down to the desire to stay committed. Many cheat on their diet, in moments of weakness, yet get back on it and succeed through pure willpower and determination. Sexual desires are no different. Think about it. Woman or man, looking from both sides of the cheat fence, it’s never a good feeling for those involved when shit hits the fan and the reason for that is ultimately deception. With more communication and maturity we can eliminate the act of cheating and find solutions to what triggers the urge to cheat. If unhappy in relationship, leave. If bored? Spice it up. Two heads work better than one, and in a relationship those heads should always be working together.

 
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