RELATIONSHIPS: MANAGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS

“Never was and never will be

You don't know how you betrayed me

And somehow you've got everybody fooled”

“Everybody’s Fool” by Evanescence

Nothing helps me cope with managing disappointment than playing this playlist (you’re welcome) of Evanescence while writing this article. Being hurt is one thing, but what makes matter worse is that when we have high expectations for someone or something that ultimately left us disappointed. Especially when we invest our time and money, we are left not just empty handed but highly wronged. The result of being let down from having countless high expectations can be damaging to our mental health and it does come with further problems. This includes victim mentality, lethargy and skimping on events, activities, and hobbies.

If worse, letting too much in without reciprocity leads to another episode of depression. Like Albert Einstein says, insanity is when we constantly do the same thing with the expectation of different results each time and trust this is the level that your brain should not be in. Not going to lie, I am still emotionally hurt from countless experiences as a result of putting on pedestals for energy vampires that I once trusted and confide in. Once I thought of solid and sincere relationships d up being a toxic series of constant gaslighting and guilt tripping. I was left heartbroken and alone and being hard on myself.  Not checking in with yourself can definitely mess you up. So what does one do in order to manage your expectations to prevent disappointments? Here are three ways so you won't be left in the dark:

• Never Assume

Save yourself overthinking and high-stress levels by not assuming anything and/or anyone. Let things fall into place, by all means. Just because a friend introduce you to a cutie and you both are single, that does NOT automatically mean the person is interested in you. What about what does your mom wants for Christmas? Don’t assume she wants her a gift card of favorite clothing shop when in fact she just wants all of her children to be around her for dinner. The best solution is always to ask what anyone needs and want in a given solution. It’s a life saver.

2. Anticipate Worse Case Scenarios

If I have known that things can turn for the worse, I would not have put myself in shit predicaments. When we anticipate worse case scenarios, particularly activities such as going to concerts, meeting our favorite celebrities and going out on dates (it’s cuffin’ season, after all), not only we free ourselves when things didn't meet our expectations, but we prepare ourselves well enough to not get upset.  After all, we live in New York City and Wellvyl always have so many events lined up for you!

3. Communicate

This is perhaps one of the most important things anyone can do. Communicate often and be annoying.  Let people know clearly what are your boundaries and expectations are! Never leave anything up in the air and keep everyone on the loop. You didn't check in with your mom that she can’t have certain ingredients with her strict diet and now you have to make her food from scratch? Nor when you plan for months for a summer party and you didn't communicate your team in advance worse case scenarios due to weather? Prevent backfires. Communication is key!

When we can manage our expectations of other people and ourselves, not only life becomes better, but you will also win!

 
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